10 Things Real Estate Agents Don’t Want You To Know

1) You really can afford a bigger house = you are getting stuck with a subprime mortgage
2) It’s never been a better time to buy = the market is nearing its top
3) Let’s throw in an extra $30,000 to entice the buyer to sell to you = you are a fucking idiot
4) Location location location = there is no concentration of minorities for at least a five mile radius (real estate agents are racist)
5) Let’s go for it (the very expensive house) = 2 + 2 = 7
6) Notice of foreclosure = you should have bought that cheaper house closer to the concentration of minorities
7) Interest free for 24 months (furniture) = you paid way to much for your house so now you can’t afford to fill it with furniture
8) ARM = enjoy the fun while it lasts
9) Housing recovery = increasing shadow inventory that leads to higher false inflation of prices
10) HOA = a “Homeowner Association” that governs the property in question in addition to government entities. These entities charge fees per month or per year for “services” provided and the privilege of living in a particular community. These thieves can tell you how your property can look, how many vehicles you can have, and if you neglect to pay them put a lien on your property just the same as local, state and federal tax authorities. They also require you to pay a transfer fee equal to a year fee plus full year fee upfront to buy a property.